House is Right

House Recap: 11-01, Part Two

by Rhys on November 17th, 2005

(Make sure you read Part One first!)

House sees one of his wacky clinic patients. She has allergies to her cat so House suggests drowning the cat as a cure. He’s kidding, obviously. Probably.

House straps NCF down to some carnival ride table thingee which swoops NCF up, down, and all around. NCF pleads for him to stop because he’s getting sick, so of course House makes it go faster. Hah! Dude has style. Finally, NCF’s heart beats weird so House smugly says his diagnosis was right.

In the stairwell, NCF macks on Cameron, but then…clutches his head dramatically! Then he barfs on Cameron, falls on her, and knocks her down a flight of stairs. Now, Cameron is about 90 pounds, NCF twice that. He knocked her down concrete stairs and squished her onto a concrete floor and Cameron isn’t even bruised. Miracle hospital, I tell ya. Ha! I bet when the hospital fixed up all these dead actors, they replaced their regular parts with bionic parts. That makes sense.

Eww…Colin Farrell is touching me!

Foreman loses a bet so he’s posing as House in clinic duty, and is all mean and insensitive to a lady who wants a breast biopsy. This is The Subplot.

Cameron taunts Chase by telling him NCF asked her out, and Chase returns the burn by reminding her she’s still obsessed with House.

NCF’s TB test comes back positive. House in annoyed, Cameron is smug. House says TB isn’t the problem, but says he’ll give NCF some drugs anyway. Ah, American doctoring.

Here comes my favorite scene: House steals a steak from the hospital cafeteria by covering it with his salad. I’m pretty sure he’s never paid for lunch here before. And since when do hospitals have steak?

NCF refuses the drugs on the principle that poor people can’t afford him. No kidding. That’s just one of the reasons it sucks to be poor. Anyone who can afford proper healthcare and refuses it is a dumbass. Personally, I think NCF is saying he’s willing to die just to be all tragic and get into Cameron’s pants, because chicks like the tragic hero type. Well, it is a real effort…Cameron should just go ahead and give it up.

The group argues more around the big table. Cuddy tells House (not realizing it was Foreman pretending to be House) to apologize to Subplot lady.

Cameron tries to convince NCF to live. NCF is looking pretty rough, with disheveled hair and stubble and glazed, coked-out eyes. Hmm, maybe it is Colin Farrell.

House destroys NCF’s room and flushes his cell phone down the can to make a point. It doesn’t work, but it was a fun scene.

NCF holds a press conference in his room. The docs gather in Coma Guy’s room to watch the show. Hey, Foreman has Fritos. Gimme those Fritos!

Don’t bogart the Fritos, Foreman.

The press conference lights clue House in That NCF isn’t sweating, which must mean something, and House storms the press conference and sticks his face in the camera. You go, House.

This is getting too long. So…NCF has a heart attack. To add insult to injury, they put a hot pink blanket over him. There’s a medical montage. I love montages. I wish I could montage parts of my life. Only 6 minutes left of the episode. The team should figure it out soon.

House gives a wrong diagnosis, and almost kills NCF to prove a point. Cuddy’s bugging him to apologize to Subplot lady. To prove a ‘cripple’ can get away with anything, House exaggerates his limp and digs his cane into Subplot Lady’s foot. Hee! She ends up apologizing and flees. I’ll have to remember that trick.

Now Cameron is wearing a truly disturbing outfit…some dirndl thingee that with her severe hairdo, gives her the look of a very butch Heidi. NCF is cured by some calcium House shoots into his pancreas. I think. His affliction wasn’t very clear. NCF kisses Cameron’s cheek and exits dramatically… into a press conference outside the hospital. So he was just a publicity whore after all! Shocking.

The scene ends with House and Wilson lounging romantically on the roof. Maybe they’ll finally consummate their relationship during sweeps. Time will tell.

Next week: House’s parents visit. Should be interesting.

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