House is Right

House Episode Recap: “Sex Kills” (HOU-214)

by Cory on July 25th, 2006

Bridge night. Focusing on Amy, the only youngster. Look: It’s Johnny Fever! Amy is feeling nauseous. Dad, Johnny, thinks she’s been drinking - Whoa!

Into dad with 3D graphics. He’s got electricity running through him. He’s like the Window’s guy in the new Apple commercials: He’s crashed and has to reboot. When he comes to he finishes his sentence and has no idea what happened.

** commercial **

Dad’s in for a checkup, and Foreman’s checking him out. Nothing unusual… until daughter leaves. One testicle is twice the size of the other.

At the white board, and Chase says testicular cancer. “Wrong shoes,” says House leading into an extended bowling analogy. It’s too obvious, plus he’s got something on his brain. next possibility is an STD - though the tests were negative. Hopefully, they were wrong, because the alternative is late stage lymphoma

In the clinic and a college student confesses: “I love cows.” He wants Deproprevara. House is pretty sure it’s a practical joke.

Back to dad. Foreman asks him if he’s had sex, he says no… in front of Amy. House doesn’t buy it, and turns out dad had a one night stand with his ex-wife at a cheese tasting. Amy comes back in the room.

Amy: “Dad, is everything ok?”
Dad: “I have a sexually transmitted disease.”
House: “He met a woman in church.”
Amy: “Does she play bridge?”

Uh oh! Dad’s spewing blood.

Amy: “How would an STD do this?”
House: “It wouldn’t.”

** commercial **

New theory: Bad cheese from the tasting. Because of the reflux and antacids, he couldn’t cope with the bacteria.

House and Wilson are playing foozball. House is grilling him over his wife. Foreshadow!

House: “You’re gonna wind up sleeping on my lumpy couch.”

Dad crashes. The diagnosis was right, but too late. Dad’s heart is done, and he needs a transplant. House presents to the hospital transplant committee with his usual winning demeanor. Surprise! They vote no to the transplant. Dad has a week.

Cameron wants to appeal. House doesn’t think it’ll work… but he wants Cameron to pull all the records for those who die today.

Cow boy is back! Now he’s claiming the beautiful cow kicked him. Doesn’t explain the splinter in his ankle. House tries to call his bluff, but the boy seems willing to endure the painful and humiliating tests in order to receive treatment.

Cameron catches up to House. None of the death’s interest him, but an overweight woman was in a serious car crash does. Unfortunately she’s not dead.

House: “60% of potential donated organs are pitched b/c of defect; it jumps to 80% if the donor is overweight. An overweight lumpy heart is better than no heart at all.”

Down in the ER, and House is chatting with the husband. while they’re talking she dies.

House: “I want your wife’s heart.”

** commercial **

House is hacking the patient files; The lady’s heart was turned down for donation three minutes ago, so he’s off to do some “dumpster diving.” Down in the ER hubby is mourning, and House turns the ventilator back on! Up to Cuddy’s office where House argues his case. Hubby says no, so House brings in Amy for the sympathy play.

House: “You don’t like me. I get that, but take it out on me, not her.”
Hubby: /knee to House’s groin! “Your dad can have my wife’s heart.”

Ok, so, now the team has to cure the dead lady. Looks like it might be a gall bladder infection, so House tries a killer dose of antibiotics… no need to worry about side effects.

In the clinic, cow boy’s tests are fine… including the hamburger he ate for lunch. Time for the truth: He’s got a super hot step-mom who’s coming on to him. House concedes and writes the script to get him through graduation.

Back to the ER, and the treatment isn’t working. House says it’s time to pull the plug, but wait! Hubby says she isn’t done. She’s gonna save Johnny Fever!

** commercial **

Time to figure things out. Chase is in charge of keeping dad alive, Foreman sticks with the dead wife, Cameron heads to her classroom (She’s a teacher.), and House heads home with hubby. of course, there are no secrets…. Cameron turns up a few pictures of a shirtless male student. wife has gonorrhea…

…but dad’s in a coma! Time to do the transplant, and treat the gonorrhea afterwards. Hubby asks what the diagnosis was, and House lies. Cameron gets to break the truth after the transplant.

House: “He’s got to be tested… preferably before he gets any sympathy sex.”

The transplant is a success. Cameron starts telling hubby… who confesses HE had a one night stand and got gonorrhea. THAT would have been nice to know! Dad wakes up, and his ex is there.

Amy: “If you do mom again you have to wear a condom.”

House is home making a peanut butter sandwich and listening to the blues. Wilson knocks at the door with a duffel bag. Wilson’s wife has been having an affair… and House has a roomie.

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