House is Right

House Episode 4.09: “Games” Recap

by Lynn on November 28th, 2007

We finally got to see who the final team will be.

The show began with a washed-up punk rocker coughing up blood and collapsing just before going on stage.

In the doctors’ lounge, Cuddy walked in to find House eating popcorn and watching soaps on TV. She pressed him to make a decision about which three to hire.

Cuddy: I want two names by Friday.
House: I’ll arrange for a person with a mysterious illness to come in on Thursday.
Cuddy: Yes. You need more tests. It’s been two months. Who knows how they’ll react to freak weather patterns?
House: They all did fine in the wind tunnel.
Cuddy: Two names by Friday or the pay overruns come out of your salary and I move your parking space to the “E” lot.

House went to see Cameron in the ER to see if she had any good prospective patients for him. She introduced him to the punk rocker.

House: Wrap him up. I’ll take him to go.

(follow the jump for the rest!)

House briefed his team and told them that whoever gets the diagnosis right gets hired, who doesn’t is fired. They all rushed to offer ideas for the diagnosis. Truth be told, the guy was a drug addict, a heavy smoker, and generally lived a self destructive lifestyle. It could be anything.

House told them that only one test would be run at a time, and it didn’t matter what order they did them in. He held up a plastic model of the eye anatomy and said that whoever holds that would be the one running the tests, because

House: Run your tests.
Foreman: No! He’s weak and in withdrawal, just spewing blood. They’re going to rip off a piece of his lung, ram instruments down his throat and roto-rooter his intestines. It would be nice if we didn’t kill him trying to find out what’s killing him.
House: [pause to think, then] One diagnosis, one test at a time.
[Scheming bitch jumps forward with a rushed diagnosis.]
House: You just lost two points.
SB: What for?
House: For thinking it makes a difference who goes first. Only one person can be right.
Kutner: What points?
House: Can’t have an objective system of measurement without points. You lose three for not knowing that. From now on, only the person holding this [picks up a plastic model of an eyeball] can treat or run tests. I would have to give you the serpent staff with the poison axe-head, but I left it in the car.

Foreman followed House to tell him that treating patients using a game is irresponsible. Of course, House disagreed.

Thirteen found SB standing outside the men’s room and told her she was an idiot for trusting a smoking addict alone in a bathroom with a tank of oxygen. Just then, there was an explosion and they rushed in to find the patient on the floor, charred.

Wilson had to tell a patient that he had misdiagnosed him and that he wasn’t going to die after all. Instead of being happy, the man was upset because he had spent his money, sold his house and told everyone goodbye. (A very strange reaction to the news that he was healthy…)

House started a chart for points. It looked like this:

SB: I have 17 points?
House: We started with everyone having 100 points, you just blew up part of the building.

When SB went to run her test, they found that her diagnosis was wrong. Next, 13 got the eyeball and tried to prove it was malaria.

Meanwhile, House confronted SB about why she was so driven to win. They had a power struggle that didn’t go well.

Kutner made a suggestion of something House didn’t like so he changed the points to this:

He confronted 13 about why she “loves addicts”. She told him that “drugs are always covering something else.”

House: That’s the dumbest statement I’ve ever heard.

He walked to the board and changed it to this:

The patient turned up missing and when 13 and Taub tracked him down, he was performing silliness in the pediatric ward. The kids loved it. Just then, he passed out in the floor.

Cuddy walked in on House thinking and playing the piano.

House: I want to keep all four.
Cuddy: You can have two.
House: You don’t get negotiation, do you? I say four, you say three, we settle on three and a half. Which would be good news for Taub.
Cuddy: What for? You don’t want three. But if I say three, you get to keep playing your game.
House: Who would you pick?
Cuddy: Are you asking my opinion?
House: If you have any absolute truths, that would be even better.
Cuddy: You never want my advice. You spend your life trying to avoid my advice.
House: You’re a bureaucratic nightmare, a pain in the ass and a second-rate doctor…
Cuddy: Am I blushing?
House: But you do [pauses] know this stuff. [Pauses, then says] Can we get this over with?
Cuddy: Taub & Kutner. Taub will stand up to you. You won’t like him, but you’ll respect him. Kutner shares your philosophy of medicine. God knows, I don’t need two of you, but he will actually help you.

Just then, 13 & Kutner came in to give him an update. (No malaria) and Cuddy walked out. House led them to the patient’s room, but then bypassed it to talk to they guy’s fellow band members for information. He checked their arms and picked the one with needle track marks. He grabbed the guy’s coat and shook it. Cigarette pack, loose change and a syringe all fell to the floor.

House: Next time, be sure to bring enough for the whole class.

House told 13 and Kutner that some of the problems were caused by sharing a needle with the other guy. He started to walk away.

House: recheck everything. Kick these guys out. Strap the patient down.

Just then, the patient fell out of bed with respiratory failure.

House: Good news for you, 13, because that is definitely not drugs.

Kutner was next to get the eyeball.

Wilson tried to give the misdiagnosed patient the money he had lost as a result of the diagnosis. He tore up the check and told Wilson that he was going to sue him for a lot more because he had made him happy, then he had taken it away. Wilson was, of course, bewildered.

By now the board looked like this:

Taub then got the eyeball and threatened to blame the patient’s death on Chase if he didn’t do a risky surgery to help them diagnose the patient. They did the surgery and things didn’t go well.

House huddled with the team, including Foreman and then, out of nowhere erased the board and announced that Kutner & 13 should “Go home.”

They both jumped up, offering more ideas about the diagnosis.

House: That firing thing…it was all a dream.
Foreman glared at House as the doclings left to go run more tests.
House: Competition works!

Wilson came to talk to House about the lawsuit.

Wilson: What kind of lawyer tells a person they have a case because they’re going to live?
House: I’ve heard that not all lawyers are as ethical as the ones we see on TV.
Wilson: I don’t even think this guy has a law degree.
House: A lot of the guys on TV don’t either.
Wilson: I think he has a medical degree. [Stares accusingly at House]
House: It directly affects my bottom line. You have less money to lend…
Wilson: I’m trying to take responsibility.
House: And I’m trying to teach you that everyone is out for theirs. You might as well keep yours.
Wilson: And lend it to you? You have to control everything. How come you’re going around asking everyone who you should fire?
House: I’m asking for input. I thought you would admire the humility.
Wilson: You like games because you can control them. You like what’s interesting, no matter if it’s real or good.
House: You want to know why you offered that guy six grand?
Wilson: Life just happens. It scares the hell out of you.
House: You think you can cure pain.
Wilson: You think you can avoid pain.
House: You think you’re responsible for every failure, every patient’s boring life and friend’s screwed up…
Wilson: You don’t want to face it any more than my patient does. Dying’s easy. Living’s hard.
House: [smiling] That can’t possibly be a poignant as it sounded.

House stood before all the doclings and told them, “This time, I’m firing Taub & Amber.”

House: 13 and Kutner are fired too.

They talked about the fact that the patient worked with abandoned kids. All the docs followed him to Cuddy’s office to ask for a brain biopsy. She told them that if they could induce a seizure, they could do the biopsy.

Kutner was getting ready to do a strobe light to induce the seizure when House came in with giant speakers and started playing the annoying music from the patient.

As expected, the patient seized.

After the biopsy, House walked into the lecture hall and fired both SB & 13. He told 13 that if he had three spots, he would hire her. Then he announced, “Game over.”

Cuddy walked in to talk to House.

Cuddy: What the hell did you do?
House: You told me to hire Kutner and Taub.
Cuddy: Because I knew you wouldn’t.
House: Oops.
Cuddy: I can’t let you hire two men.
House: Now that is sexist.
House: You’ve already got Forman.
House: Is he a dude?
Cuddy: Hire a woman too.

She told him to hire 13. As she walked away, House started to grin that sly grin. She suddenly realized that he had planned it that way the whole time.

Cuddy: Well, at least the games are over.
House: How long have you known me?

So that’s how it went down. The new doclings are officially Kutner, 13 and Taub.

What do you think of this episode? Are you happy at the choices? Leave a comment to share your thoughts!

tv, Television, house tv, House, hugh laurie, , Omar Epps, jennifer morrison, robert sean leonard, Lisa Edelstein, jesse spencer, Olivia Wilde, Kal Penn, Peter Jacobson, Anne Dudek

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