House is Right

House Episode 4.10 - “It’s a Wonderful Lie” Recap

by Lynn on January 30th, 2008

The show began with a mother coaching her daughter while she climbed the face of a rock climbing wall. At the point where the mother was holding the rope to keep her daughter from falling, her hands stopped working and the daughter fell to the ground, breaking her arm.

In the hospital, the new team, surrounded by holiday decorations, began to discuss the puzzling case. Then House came in and started to tear down the decorations.

House: Dr. Kutner, who told you that it would be a good idea to put up superficial representations of the season, celebrating a mythical figure? (Grabs the stuffed Santa as he said it.)
Kutner: It wasn’t me.
House: He lied. Homey knows better (Foreman nods), Himey doesn’t care (Taub) and Huntington’s would have done a better job (Thirteen.)
Thirteen: I don’t have Huntington’s.
House: That you know of.
Foreman: Why would you…?
House: Because I almost got sued when I called you “Honey Buns”

Welcome back, my favorite grump! Ahh! House is back!! :-)
(follow the jump for the rest!)

Then, Kutner suggested that they do Secret Santa. Without answering, House asked about the patient. Thirteen said that the patient had nothing in her history that could explain the symptoms and House told her that the patient had lied. Thirteen was sure she hadn’t. It was a great setup for a good show!

Taub told them that the woman had preventative breast removal surgery years before since her own mother had died of breast cancer. They decided to investigate to see if she had breast cancer anyway, since some cells may have remained that could have developed cancer.

House went to share a lollipop with the daughter to see if he could find out anything from her about the mother. After asking her questions and doubting her answers, she told him that she was telling the truth.

House: Have you ever told a white lie?
Girl: What are those?
House: A lie we tell to make others feel better.
Girl: I don’t lie.
House: Rationalization?
Girl: What are those?
House: Lies we tell to make ourselves feel better. (The world according to House.)
Girl: No
House: Lies of omission?

Then she started to answer his questions about her mother’s sex life.

House told Wilson that it was child abuse.

Wilson: Honesty?
House: there’s a reason people tell lies. It works. It’s what allows society to function. It’s what separates man from beast.
Wilson: Oh. I thought that was our thumbs.
House: Do you know every place your mom’s thumb has been?
Wilson: I’m sorry, I missed rehearsal. Am I taking the “truth is good” side? Don’t you usually take that part?
House: Lies are a tool, we use either for good….wait, I’ve got a better one. Lies are like children. Hard work, but worth it because the future depends on it.
Wilson: You are so full of love…or something. When you care about someone…
House: You lie to them! You pretend that their constant ponderous musings are interesting. You tell them they’re not losing their boyish good looks or becoming worn out….
Wilson: I stand corrected. May I say, it’s been a real pleasure chatting with you.

Anyone who reads my recaps knows that my favorite part of the show’s dialog is usually between Wilson & House. Wilson is the perfect person for House to bounce his jaded thoughts off of and their conversations are always entertaining. What a fabulous pair of characters…

The cancer diagnosis was negative so House and the team start to think about other possibilities. House called the woman a slut. (Wow! That’s low, even for House!) ;-)

They conclude that they need to find out about her recent sexual partners. Kutner volunteers to follow up with them.

House: Send Foreman and Taub. They’re better liars. I need to get to the truth.

When they talked to one of her recent partners, they fool him into admitting that he had given the woman some ecstasy “to help enhance things.” Foreman asked if he had any of it left.

Back in the clinic, House was examining a woman who claimed to have an upset stomach and swollen glands. He noticed her necklace.

House: St. Nicholas?
Patient: Patron saint of children.
House: Also seamen, merchants, archers, prostitutes and prisoners.
Patient: Hmm. He must have been pretty hard working.
House: (shrugs) Or just a credit hog.

Then, he correctly diagnosed her as having strep and being a prostitute. (How does he do that…Dr. Holmes has nothing on him!)

Then he walked to the nurse’s station where he ran into Cuddy.

Cuddy: You owe me $50.
House: And you still owe me half a lap dance.
Cuddy: It’s for the nurses’ holiday bonus. I know you got the memo.
House: I want to hire 40 new fellows.
Cuddy: You already fired them?
House: They work better when they’re scared.

Just then, Taub walked up and explained the ecstasy situation and what they were doing to find out if it was related. Then he walked away.

House: See? Clear, simple statement of facts describing their cooperation with absolutely no attitude or fear.
Cuddy: Something’s gotta be done.
House: Oh, yeah!

In the woman’s room, while they were administering the treatment, she suddenly went blind.

The team gathered to discuss the new symptom. House was putting little slips of paper into a Christmas stocking.

House: Do you spell Homey with a “Y”? I want to be respectful. (LOL!)
Kutner: You’re actually going to let us do Secret Santa?
House: Not just you guys. I like presents too.

They all chose names from the stocking and House told them to go check out the woman’s home. He instructed them to pick up both of their computers. His rationale was that if the mother talked to the daughter about sex, she probably did it to cover up what she didn’t want to talk to her about.

The team continued to investigate one disorder after another, with no success.

House accused Thirteen of defending the woman’s truthfulness, because she herself is incapable of it. He then tells her to help while he tries to get the truth out of the girl. He told her that if she doesn’t know how to lie, she wouldn’t know how to tell if she was being lied to. She told him that she knows how to lie, just not to her mother.

The newbies all figured out that they all got House’s name in the Secret Santa drawing.

Wilson: You gave them all your name?
House: Uh-huh. I figured that I could sow some dissention and get a few ties and sweaters.
Wilson: What happens when they find out?
House: It’s “Secret” Santa.
Wilson: What happens when they find out?
House: They’ll argue with what to do with that information. Ties are less important than the dissention.

Elsewhere, the fellows were arguing about what to do. (LOL)

Meanwhile, the patient got worse.

In House’s office, he was scrutinizing the contents of one of the computers. He was disappointed that he wasn’t finding any sordid emails there.

Kutner noticed a gift wrapped package on his desk.

Kutner: Who’s that from?
House: Santa. Obviously. Because you know I worship him. Wait…I mean, Satan. I always get them confused.
Thirteen told him to stop obsessing.
House: (laughs) A friend sent her a Garfield comic strip. That cat sure loves lasagna.

Then he told them that the woman had sold her Stairmaster tow months after buying it and had canceled a hiking trip. He concluded that she was having a hard time doing things. Then he opened the gift and showed them the iPhone that was inside.

House gave the iPhone back to Wilson, proud that he had made the fellows continue to argue.

Just then, the patient, who was receiving yet another treatment, began to bleed from her eyes. (Hey, I’m no medical professional here, but I don’t think that’s a good sign…)

They discuss the situation with House, then walk away to do more tests. Except for Kutner, who stayed behind and told House that he was his Secret Santa. Then he handed a gift to House and told him Merry Christmas.

The others, who had all agreed not to give him a gift, were upset with Kutner. House smiled.

House walked into a clinic exam room and the prostitute from earlier was there.

House: On the one hand, I told you to stay in bed. On the other hand, I wanted you to rest. I see your dilemma.

She had different symptoms and he diagnosed her. But not before she invited him to come see her “show.”

Taub had to tell the woman that she needed a bone marrow transplant and that they should test the daughter to see if she was a match. The daughter was ok with it, but the mother didn’t want her to have to do it. Taub told her that if she didn’t make it and the girl didn’t try to save her, she would spend the rest of her life blaming herself. The mother still refused.

Taub told House about the mother’s refusal, then gave him a gift. Then, Thirteen walked in and gave House a gift too.

Thirteen: who’s going to tell the patient that she’s dying?
House: I will. Nobody leaves here until we figure out what she died of.

The fellows were in the lab discussing the Secret Santa when the daughter walked in and told them to test her bone marrow.

Meanwhile, in the mother’s room, House was talking to her about the diagnosis and still trying to get the truth out of her. He told her that he had figured out that the girl wasn’t really her biological daughter because of the refusal. Then she finally told him that a drug addict had given her the baby to raise so that the girl would never know who or what her actual mother was. The woman had never told the girl.

Just then, the daughter came into the room and told her mother that she knew the mother was dying. House left the room.

House walked right into the middle of the nurses’ Christmas party. Wilson, who was wearing reindeer antlers walked over to him. they walked outside together. It was snowing.

Wilson: What did you get for Christmas?
House: A watch, a vintage LP and a second edition Conan Doyle. (very clever to inject the book by the author of the Sherlock Holmes stories, since that’s the character House is based on.) And if that wasn’t bad enough, my patient’s dying.
Wilson: Christmas deaths in hospitals. Nothing’s more depressing. No one ever wants to go in the patient’s room. Even the candy stripers leave them alone.
House: I saw something amazing. Pure truth. She told her mother that she was dying. Stripped her of all hope.
Wilson: Tat sounds horrible.
House: It was like watching some bizarre astronomical event that you know you’re never going to see again.
Wilson: You tell people the cold, hard truth all the time. You get off on it.
House: Because I don’t care. She cared. But she did it anyway. She did it because she cared.
Wilson: The angels of Christmas have finally given House a present he can appreciate.
House: Oh, don’t ruin it. Don’t pin this on Christ. He’s got enough nails in him.
Wilson: A patient had to die…
House: You should take off that hat.
Wilson: It’s Christmas. It’s a reindeer.
House: It’s a moose on a Jew.
Wilson: who cares?
House: things have their place. You wouldn’t hang dreidles from a Christmas tree.
Wilson: You could. Things don’t care.
House looked like he had realized something important and replied: No. They don’t. (he walked back into the hospital.)
Wilson: Happy Solstice, House.

House walked into the lab where the fellows were toiling, trying to figure out what was wrong with the patient. He was singing (very well, I might add) a Christmas carol. He told them to give the patient an anti-psychotic drug and that he was about to perform a Christmas miracle. Then he walked back out, singing.

He went to examine the patient and told her that the drug they had given her would make breast tissue cells swell and that she may actually have breast cancer somewhere in her body after all.

House used a syringe to remove some liquid from the swelling behind her knee and squirted it into the daughter’s mouth. It was breast milk. He told the patient that they would remove her tumor and start her on chemotherapy and her symptoms should all go away. House left the room, telling the patient and the daughter to have a wonderful life.

House walked through the hospital party again on his way out and noticed the old doclings and the new ones all making friends. He looked a bit worried as he left the building.

Then, we saw him walk into a church for a Christmas pageant. A donkey was led in with a woman on its back pretending to be the Virgin Mary. She noticed him and smiled. He smiled back at the prostitute he had treated at the clinic.

Very cute!! I loved this episode!! Once again, we got to see Wilson and House discuss the most telling and interesting topics in the show, the dynamics of House with his new team were priceless and thankfully, the patient’s zebra disease was diagnosed in time to save her. There was humor, seriousness and I loved it all.

What did you think of the episode? What were your favorite parts? Leave a comment to share with us!

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