Christmas Eve With Hugh Laurie

Thanks to wonderful House fan Grace for sending me the tip about this cute poem. (All parents of little ones will definitely identify…) And how fitting that Christmas Eve was celebrated by watching House!

Twas the night before Christmas, a.k.a Christmas Eve
We made it through dinner and nobody heaved
I threw the boys in the tub and got them all clean
While hubby washed the dishes until there was a sparkley sheen

We wrestled them into pj’s and read them a book
One last glass of water and their vitamins they took
They brushed their teeth and gargled like Wookies
Then left out a plate of carrots and cookies

They felt that by the time Santa arrived
The reindeer would probably be carrot deprived
Such thoughtful little children I’ve raised
We put them to bed with compliments and praise

I put on their covers and shut off the light
“Nighty, nighty, sweet babies, may you sleep tight.”
“Nighty, nighty, dear mama, we both love you.”
“See you in the mornin’; I love you both, too.”

Since the children were nestled, tucked up in the bunk
I got comfy on the living room couch with my hunk
Me with my popcorn, he with corona and lime
We had just settled down to watch some prime time

When out of the corner of my eye should appear
Little A out of bed, holding his rear
“I have poo poos, Mama,” he cried.
I rolled my eyes and heavily sighed.

“It’s 9PM, of course you do.
There isn’t a night that goes by when you don’t poo!”
I changed his diaper as quick as a mouse
As hubby was waiting; we were watching House

I returned and then the team was just about to diagnose
It has to be this time – Lupus, of course
When out of the corner of my eye should appear
Little A again, pulling at his ear

“What’s wrong with you now?” I sighed.
“My ear needs cream,” he replied.
So we got out the cream and put House on pause
“You know if you don’t go to sleep, there will be no Santa Claus.”

“OK, Mommy,” he nodded
And off to his room again he so trotted
I looked at hubby for him to press play
Hoping this time in his room Little A will stay

An insulting comment, one snide remark
Dr. House gave his team with Spriteskeeper-like snark
When out of the corner of my eye I did see
Little A, yet again, shuffling up to me

Immensely irritated, I just gave him a look
He grinned really wide and showed me a book
“Mommy, dis is my faborite stowee.”
“Darling, I am trying to watch Hugh Laurie!”

I gritted my teeth and dragged him off to bed
An array of punishments danced in my head
Spankings came to mind; maybe a bar of soap
Strangling is done best with some rope

I covered the child and breathed in deep
“Son, this has to stop, you must go to sleep!”
“But, Mommy, sometimes I just can’t close my eyes!“
“If you don’t then Santa will never leave your surprise!”

He nodded, “OK, Mommy, I will be good.”
I truly hoped this time that he would.
I went back to my hubby and the mental MD
We finished the show, turned off the TV

We wrapped all the presents, set them under the tree
Scattered crumbs on the table from the cookies
Tossed soot near the fireplace and messed up the shoes
(’Cuz that’s where we put them, don’t know if you knew)

We put on our pj’s and jumped into bed
Too tired for funny business, I patted his head
“Merry Christmas, dear hubby, now turn off the light.”
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

[Image: stock xchng]